Let’s face it: travel snobs are everywhere. You’ve probably met at least one—if not, check the mirror (just kidding!). The ancient debate rages on: Are you a traveler or a tourist? Let’s settle this once and for all… or at least have a good laugh.
Meet the Cast
The Tourist
- Wears: Hawaiian shirt, camera around neck, socks with sandals (it’s a lifestyle, not a fashion statement).
- Motto: “If it’s not in the guidebook, does it even exist?”
- Superpower: Locates souvenir shops with GPS accuracy.
The Traveler
- Wears: Well-worn backpack, slightly mysterious tan, probably hasn’t washed their jeans in weeks.
- Motto: “I only go where the locals go, unless the locals go where the tourists go, in which case I go somewhere else.”
- Superpower: Can ask for directions in five languages. Gets lost anyway.
The Profi Traveler
- Wears: Technical travel gear, GoPro strapped to chest, sunglasses permanently affixed, and an aura of mysterious confidence.
- Motto: “I’m not just traveling—I’m *prof-traveling.”
- Superpower: Can turn even the most remote village into a dating app.
- Notable quote: “I’m from Switzerland, but my heart is international… especially if you’re a local lady.”
The Daily Routine
Tourist:
- 8:00 AM – Breakfast buffet (must try the hotel’s “international” version of pancakes).
- 9:00 AM – Bus tour to the city’s top 5 attractions, complete with headset commentary and polite applause.
- 12:00 PM – Buys a miniature Eiffel Tower/statue/dragon/whatever.
- 3:00 PM – Asks, “Why don’t they speak English here?”
- 6:00 PM – Posts 47 photos of themselves “holding up” famous landmarks.
Traveler:
- 8:00 AM – Eats something unidentifiable from a street vendor. May or may not regret it later.
- 10:00 AM – Wanders into a temple/market/alleyway, unsure if it’s a hidden gem or someone’s backyard.
- 2:00 PM – Befriends a stray cat and a local grandmother.
- 5:00 PM – Takes a nap on a park bench because “it’s about the journey, not the destination.”
- 10:00 PM – Writes moody blog post about the “real” side of the city.
Profi Traveler:
- 8:00 AM – Swipes right on “locals nearby.”
- 9:00 AM – Joins a walking tour, but stands at the back, scanning the crowd for potential “cultural exchanges.”
- 11:00 AM – Tells everyone he’s a “profi traveler”—nobody knows what this means, but it sounds impressive.
- 4:00 PM – Magically finds the only rooftop bar in town with the best sunset and the most attractive locals.
- Midnight – Still out, “networking.”
Approach to Landmarks
- Tourist: Waits in line for two hours to climb the tower, snaps a selfie, leaves after 15 minutes.
- Traveler: Finds a tiny café with a “unique perspective,” spends three hours journaling, never actually climbs the tower.
- Profi Traveler: Uses the tower as a backdrop for an impromptu photoshoot with someone they just met, posts on Instagram with #Wanderlust and #NewFriends.
Packing Philosophy
- Tourist: “I need extra socks, a raincoat, and a backup power bank. You never know!”
- Traveler: “If it doesn’t fit in my carry-on, I don’t need it. Who needs more than one T-shirt, anyway?”
- Profi Traveler: “I only pack essentials: camera, cologne, and a universal charger. The rest? I’ll borrow from my new friends.”
So, Who’s Better?
Here’s the plot twist: Nobody wins.
Tourists fund the local economy and keep postcard shops in business. Travelers keep hostels interesting and occasionally remind us that maps are optional. Profi travelers… well, they keep the night scene lively and the friend requests coming.
Sometimes you’re all three in one trip: you eat the local delicacy (traveler), buy a T-shirt that says “I ♥ Paris” (tourist), and end up at a rooftop party with a Swiss guy who claims to be a “profi traveler.” True story—he never really explained what it meant, but he was always busy “connecting with the locals,” especially the female ones.
Final Wisdom
At the end of the day, whether you’re following a flag-waving guide, losing yourself (literally) in a new city, or perfecting your “profi” moves on the dance floor, you’re out there exploring. That’s more than most people on the couch at home.
So pack your bags, put on those socks with sandals (or not), and see the world—your way! Just be careful if you meet a “profi traveler”—you might end up in someone else’s Instagram story.
Are you a tourist, a traveler, a profi, or a little bit of everything? Share your funniest travel character encounter below!
Happy Travels!
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